Fair and Equal: We Want All of Our Children to Feel Loved—But If We Split the Farm, It Won’t Survive
We all want our children to feel equally loved and equally valued. But when it comes to passing down the farm, equal doesn’t always mean fair —and if we’re not careful, trying to be “equal” could destroy the very legacy we hoped to leave behind. The Cutting Board Story I once worked with a farm couple who were hesitant to start the planning process unless their farming son was involved from the beginning. To them, this was farm succession—nothing more. But as we worked through the initial stages with just Mom and Dad, something deeper came to light. Their non-farming son had once made a joking comment at a holiday gathering: “I figure all I’ll inherit is Mom’s old kitchen cutting board.” It wasn’t about the money. It was about what that meant— a fear of being left out or less valued . This son was thriving in his career and financially secure, but he still felt like his brother—the farmer—was the “golden child.” And Mom saw it. She felt the tension, the heartache, and th...